1. |
Suburban Retail Blues
03:22
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Why can't I pay
for an apartment
above minimum wage?
This ain't living.
No, this ain't living.
Going to school five days a week
And expected to work
for this fucked up machine.
Where's the pay off?
Where's my day off?
I used to think that I would understand
all of the beautiful people holding hands,
but now that I've grown up
those people just won't seem to show up.
Driving back and forth
I don't know why I waste
so much time anymore.
I will waste away
in twenty years
but years just seem like days.
And I've got nothing to show so far
but a picture of my broken heart.
And broken is what we all are
but we'll be fine just like that beat up car
she continues to drive.
If she had it her way she would drive it for the rest of her life
'cause it don't cost too much;it leaves some cash for the price of love.
Now that I'm twenty one years old I won't buy myself a drink 'cause I've got bills to hold
and payments to make to the state, not like they use it in anyway
I deem necessary
maybe when I'm older
I can finally see
why everything I thought was wrong
maybe I can write
a meaningful song
Maybe I can even buy a home
with the money I make I can make something of my own
without my head slipping down
into the waves of meaninglessness
I want to make myself proud.
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2. |
NBA (Never Be Anything)
03:09
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It's like you're a ref in the NBA
and I'm a lane violation in the way that you never call me.
My foot was over the line before the ball left my hand
But your whistle stayed silent.
"I question everything"
you mentioned offhandedly
I question everything
You fail to say.
Tell me am I thinking of things the wrong way;
perceiving everything so negatively?
Expecting everything to go perfectly
When that never is and never will be.
I'll be the Sacramento Kings 2002 v. the Lakers
and you'll be my bet-on-them Tim Donaghy.
I know that something's wrong but I'm too scared to say it.
Do you really think it's fair, dishonestly?
I'm your Lebron James
taking four steps to get to the basket
and the ball touched the floor not a single time.
They're looking at you 'cause they know that you saw it
you T them all up and you give them all fines.
I'm fine.
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3. |
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While you're away
I'll ride around this town on my mom's bike
and take pictures of this place
so if you come back it's like you never missed a day
Maybe my grip's too strong,
living on the same coast but constantly afraid of where you'll go
And if you go
will you make your mark on everything and everyone that I will never know?
Riding through familiar routes
all the ones we walked last summer
Walking's just too slow
and it reminds me of how
You used to look at me
the way I looked at you
Is it really for the better if that summer was the best that I could do?
Would you want to watch the car crash
into the barrier on the highway?
Or would you rather read about it
in the paper the next day?
Those pictures that I take
are a constant reminder
that things are gonna change.
And I faked my death in a car crash
to see if you would cry.
I think I could do better,
but I remain the same.
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4. |
Heartstrings
03:15
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I enter the room to find you alone,
sitting you're somber on the edge of the bed.
Your dad lost his job, your friend got too drunk,
your car needs repairs. The feeling you've sunk
too far this time, there's no escape.
I feel all your sadness, understand your pain.
Believe me I've been there like I'm there for you
always and this time. You will make it through.
I think of the last time that I felt like that,
surprisingly not too far into my past.
I just feel alone sometimes, it's something I need
to feel like I'm worth it, to feel like I'm free.
Though your eyes say terrible things
Forlorn, hopeless, sunken: the look of defeat.
I look in the mirror and sometimes I see
that same sort of sadness, that same cruel disease.
The look on your face
says terrible things
it eats at my insides
it's pulling my heartstrings
it plays something sad
I've heard it before
the sound of you crying
through a locked bathroom door.
The words from my mouth
shed light on the fields
of sorrow you run through
to try to not feel
the same way that I did
when I was nineteen
'cause when we're together
we can do anything.
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5. |
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The distance is menacing.
How distant can we get
without feeling torn apart
and room to forget?
I can't help but feel
forgotten at times
I think it's the circumstance.
I think you'd be fine.
You've got arms for comfort
I hope that I would
I hope that you'd miss me
You wish that you could.
But I'm just stuck inside
my negativity again.
I'll let you in on my secrets,
but never in my head.
Do I know you better
than anybody else?
Do I know you better?
'Cause I can never tell.
If you had to choose me
or all of your new friends
I'm scared I can't be sure of
the way that it would end.
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Cooltrainer Harleysville, Pennsylvania
Jacob Gnias
I'll never move to the city.
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