Demo

by Cooltrainer

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wred 10/10 bedroom emo. Please make more. Love you! Favorite track: When She Finally Gets Out of this Town Like She's Always Wanted to I'll Stay and Feel Sorry Enough for the Both of Us.
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1.
Why can't I pay for an apartment above minimum wage? This ain't living. No, this ain't living. Going to school five days a week And expected to work for this fucked up machine. Where's the pay off? Where's my day off? I used to think that I would understand all of the beautiful people holding hands, but now that I've grown up those people just won't seem to show up. Driving back and forth I don't know why I waste so much time anymore. I will waste away in twenty years but years just seem like days. And I've got nothing to show so far but a picture of my broken heart. And broken is what we all are but we'll be fine just like that beat up car she continues to drive. If she had it her way she would drive it for the rest of her life 'cause it don't cost too much;it leaves some cash for the price of love. Now that I'm twenty one years old I won't buy myself a drink 'cause I've got bills to hold and payments to make to the state, not like they use it in anyway I deem necessary maybe when I'm older I can finally see why everything I thought was wrong maybe I can write a meaningful song Maybe I can even buy a home with the money I make I can make something of my own without my head slipping down into the waves of meaninglessness I want to make myself proud.
2.
It's like you're a ref in the NBA and I'm a lane violation in the way that you never call me. My foot was over the line before the ball left my hand But your whistle stayed silent. "I question everything" you mentioned offhandedly I question everything You fail to say. Tell me am I thinking of things the wrong way; perceiving everything so negatively? Expecting everything to go perfectly When that never is and never will be. I'll be the Sacramento Kings 2002 v. the Lakers and you'll be my bet-on-them Tim Donaghy. I know that something's wrong but I'm too scared to say it. Do you really think it's fair, dishonestly? I'm your Lebron James taking four steps to get to the basket and the ball touched the floor not a single time. They're looking at you 'cause they know that you saw it you T them all up and you give them all fines. I'm fine.
3.
While you're away I'll ride around this town on my mom's bike and take pictures of this place so if you come back it's like you never missed a day Maybe my grip's too strong, living on the same coast but constantly afraid of where you'll go And if you go will you make your mark on everything and everyone that I will never know? Riding through familiar routes all the ones we walked last summer Walking's just too slow and it reminds me of how You used to look at me the way I looked at you Is it really for the better if that summer was the best that I could do? Would you want to watch the car crash into the barrier on the highway? Or would you rather read about it in the paper the next day? Those pictures that I take are a constant reminder that things are gonna change. And I faked my death in a car crash to see if you would cry. I think I could do better, but I remain the same.
4.
Heartstrings 03:15
I enter the room to find you alone, sitting you're somber on the edge of the bed. Your dad lost his job, your friend got too drunk, your car needs repairs. The feeling you've sunk too far this time, there's no escape. I feel all your sadness, understand your pain. Believe me I've been there like I'm there for you always and this time. You will make it through. I think of the last time that I felt like that, surprisingly not too far into my past. I just feel alone sometimes, it's something I need to feel like I'm worth it, to feel like I'm free. Though your eyes say terrible things Forlorn, hopeless, sunken: the look of defeat. I look in the mirror and sometimes I see that same sort of sadness, that same cruel disease. The look on your face says terrible things it eats at my insides it's pulling my heartstrings it plays something sad I've heard it before the sound of you crying through a locked bathroom door. The words from my mouth shed light on the fields of sorrow you run through to try to not feel the same way that I did when I was nineteen 'cause when we're together we can do anything.
5.
The distance is menacing. How distant can we get without feeling torn apart and room to forget? I can't help but feel forgotten at times I think it's the circumstance. I think you'd be fine. You've got arms for comfort I hope that I would I hope that you'd miss me You wish that you could. But I'm just stuck inside my negativity again. I'll let you in on my secrets, but never in my head. Do I know you better than anybody else? Do I know you better? 'Cause I can never tell. If you had to choose me or all of your new friends I'm scared I can't be sure of the way that it would end.

about

Made in my bedroom, sitting on my bed for 99 percent of the time it took to make.

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released August 10, 2018

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about

Cooltrainer Harleysville, Pennsylvania

Jacob Gnias

I'll never move to the city.

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